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QB

Player	Team
Drew Brees	Unlikely Pseudonyms
Robert Griffin III	Ordinary Marksists
Eli Manning	Legitimate Reception
Ben Roethlisberger	Tebow Ghostwriters
Andy Dalton	Haulin' Oats
Philip Rivers	Not-so-Gentlewomen
Aaron Rodgers	Heisman Cain
Matt Ryan	The Dictionary Kids
Cam Newton	Fuzzy Dunlop
Tom Brady	Partisan Warrior
Tony Romo	Bullmoose revival
Matthew Stafford	Black Hole
Peyton Manning	~multiple scorgasms~
Sam Bradford	Stoicdread

WR

Player	Team
Jason Avant	Unlikely Pseudonyms
A.J. Green	Ordinary Marksists
Reggie Wayne	Legitimate Reception
Eric Decker	Tebow Ghostwriters
Vincent Jackson	Haulin' Oats
Calvin Johnson	Not-so-Gentlewomen
Andre Johnson	Heisman Cain
Julio Jones	The Dictionary Kids
Mike Wallace	Fuzzy Dunlop
Roddy White	Partisan Warrior
Justin Blackmon	Bullmoose revival
Brandon Lloyd	Black Hole
Brandon Marshall	~multiple scorgasms~
Miles Austin	Stoicdread

WR

Player	Team
Leonard Hankerson	Unlikely Pseudonyms
Randall Cobb	Ordinary Marksists
Hakeem Nicks	Legitimate Reception
T.Y. Hilton	Tebow Ghostwriters
DeSean Jackson	Haulin' Oats
Victor Cruz	Not-so-Gentlewomen
Steve Johnson	Heisman Cain
Pierre Garcon	The Dictionary Kids
Antonio Brown	Fuzzy Dunlop
Anquan Boldin	Partisan Warrior
Greg Jennings	Bullmoose revival
Larry Fitzgerald	Black Hole
Dez Bryant	~multiple scorgasms~
Doug Baldwin	Stoicdread

RB

Player	Team
Adrian Peterson	Unlikely Pseudonyms
Doug Martin	Ordinary Marksists
Chris Johnson	Legitimate Reception
Jamaal Charles	Tebow Ghostwriters
LeSean McCoy	Haulin' Oats
Reggie Bush	Not-so-Gentlewomen
David Wilson	Heisman Cain
Stevan Ridley	The Dictionary Kids
Matt Forte	Fuzzy Dunlop
Darren Sproles	Partisan Warrior
Arian Foster	Bullmoose revival
Marcel Reece	Black Hole
Ray Rice	~multiple scorgasms~
Darren McFadden	Stoicdread

TE

Player	Team
Jermichael Finley	Unlikely Pseudonyms
Rob Gronkowski	Ordinary Marksists
Jermaine Gresham	Legitimate Reception
Greg Olsen	Tebow Ghostwriters
Tony Scheffler	Haulin' Oats
Tony Gonzalez	Not-so-Gentlewomen
Owen Daniels	Heisman Cain
Jimmy Graham	The Dictionary Kids
Jason Witten	Fuzzy Dunlop
Heath Miller	Partisan Warrior
Vernon Davis	Bullmoose revival
Brandon Myers	Black Hole
Brent Celek	~multiple scorgasms~
Fred Davis	Stoicdread

W/R/T

Player	Team
Frank Gore	Unlikely Pseudonyms
C.J. Spiller	Ordinary Marksists
Michael Crabtree	Legitimate Reception
Marshawn Lynch	Tebow Ghostwriters
Michael Bush	Haulin' Oats
Wes Welker	Not-so-Gentlewomen
Steven Jackson	Heisman Cain
Danny Amendola	The Dictionary Kids
Demaryius Thomas	Fuzzy Dunlop
Jeremy Kerley	Partisan Warrior
Knowshon Moreno	Bullmoose revival
Michael Turner	Black Hole
Montell Owens	~multiple scorgasms~
DeMarco Murray	Stoicdread

K

Player	Team
Nick Novak	Unlikely Pseudonyms
Stephen Gostkowski	Ordinary Marksists
Shayne Graham	Legitimate Reception
Sebastian Janikowski	Tebow Ghostwriters
Robbie Gould	Haulin' Oats
Matt Bryant	Not-so-Gentlewomen
Blair Walsh	Heisman Cain
Jason Hanson	The Dictionary Kids
Dan Bailey	Fuzzy Dunlop
Alex Henery	Partisan Warrior
Justin Tucker	Bullmoose revival
Lawrence Tynes	Black Hole
Shaun Suisham	~multiple scorgasms~
Matt Prater	Stoicdread

DEF

Player	Team
Green Bay - DEF	Unlikely Pseudonyms
Buffalo - DEF	Ordinary Marksists
New York - DEF	Legitimate Reception
San Francisco - DEF	Tebow Ghostwriters
Baltimore - DEF	Haulin' Oats
Houston - DEF	Not-so-Gentlewomen
Minnesota - DEF	Heisman Cain
New England - DEF	The Dictionary Kids
New York - DEF	Fuzzy Dunlop
Miami - DEF	Partisan Warrior
Chicago - DEF	Bullmoose revival
Washington - DEF	Black Hole
Pittsburgh - DEF	~multiple scorgasms~
Seattle - DEF	Stoicdread