Pretzel Sticks in my G-String (ID# 7439)

Dak That Ass Up Tops 2 Gurleys 1 Cup and Hands Them Fourth Loss in a Row

Week 9

  • Dak That Ass Up
  • 171.12 pts, 6-3
  • Weekly Grade
  • 2 Gurleys 1 Cup
  • 128.87 pts, 4-5
  • Weekly Grade

Just like Batman and Robin, Drew Brees and Jay Ajayi were a deadly combo for Dak That Ass Up, leading the way to a 171.12 to 128.87 victory over 2 Gurleys 1 Cup. They recorded 42.72 and 27.00 points, respectively. 2 Gurleys 1 Cup (4-5) sits just two games back of Dak That Ass Up (6-3), but point totals show a much bigger gap, 1,588.97 to 1,241.50. 2 Gurleys 1 Cup definitely shouldn't plan a trip to Vegas. Their luck couldn't get any worse as they are on a four-game losing streak. On top of the loss, 2 Gurleys 1 Cup had a starter score zero points (Jeremy Maclin).

Top Players

    • Marcus Mariota
    • 45.67
    • Drew Brees
    • 42.72
    • Jason Witten
    • 32.40
    • Jay Ajayi
    • 27.00

Smooth Moves by Dak That Ass Up

  • Dak That Ass Up scored massive brownie points with the Toyota Hall of Fame this week. Too bad brownie points don't count as real points. Not that you need help.
  • One of these days the pundits will give Drew Brees his due props. With 42.72 points against a projected 32.47, he ranked fifth in the league in scoring and has now overachieved in four straight games.
  • With 27.00 points, Jay Ajayi ranked fourth in scoring among all RBs in the league this week.
  • The 22.20 points scored by Stefon Diggs was the ninth-highest score by a WR in the league this week.
  • Greg Olsen had the fifth-highest TE score in the league this week with 16.20 points.

Toyota Roster Tune-up

  • Next week, be sure to ask Dak That Ass Up where official Toyota Hall of Fame articles are kept.
  • This is how people lose everything in casinos. 2 Gurleys 1 Cup thought their luck would change and went back to the well with Mason Crosby. However, he scored 10.00 points against a projected 13.41 and has now underachieved in three straight games.
  • 2 Gurleys 1 Cup had 7 of their 10 starters score less than their projected points.
  • Jeremy Maclin failed to score this week with 0 points against a projected 12.42.
  • With 4.00 points, Devontae Booker scored only 22.3% of his 17.96 projected point total.

What If

  • If Dak That Ass Up played 2 Gurleys 1 Cup every week, they'd be 7-2 this year.
  • Besides 2 Gurleys 1 Cup, Dak That Ass Up would have defeated seven other teams this week.
  • Dak That Ass Up would be 5-3 if they played the same schedule as 2 Gurleys 1 Cup.
  • If Dak That Ass Up had played every team in the league each week, they would be 73-26.
  • Besides Dak That Ass Up, 2 Gurleys 1 Cup would have been defeated by eight other teams this week.
  • And they say procrastination doesn't pay off! Had they played each other last week, Dak That Ass Up would have lost to 2 Gurleys 1 Cup 136.50 - 133.95.
  • If they played the same schedule as Dak That Ass Up, 2 Gurleys 1 Cup would be 4-4.
  • If they played every team every week, 2 Gurleys 1 Cup would be 32-67.

Game Notes

  • Dak That Ass Up won by the largest margin of victory in the league (42.25 points) for the fourth time this season.
  • 2 Gurleys 1 Cup has the longest current losing streak in the league, having lost four straight games.
  • This was the third time this season that 2 Gurleys 1 Cup lost by the week's biggest margin.
  • The Minnesota Vikings Defense had a season-low 5.00 points against a projected 10.80 in the win and has now scored below their projection in three straight games.
  • With the win, Dak That Ass Up snapped their three-game losing streak.
  • What good are running backs if they are running backwards instead of forwards? The 5.00 total points by the RBs on 2 Gurleys 1 Cup was their smallest RB output this season.
  • Jason Witten scored 32.40 points, the fourth-highest TE score in the league this season, but it was not enough to tip the scales in favor of 2 Gurleys 1 Cup.
  • Dak That Ass Up got 82.1% of their points from players they drafted.
Dak That Ass Up
2 Gurleys 1 Cup
  • Points by NFL Position
  • Top Players by Points
  • Game Flow

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Fantasy MasterpiecesWeek 9

Nick Foles Phi - QB 2013 vs. Oakland 407 passing yards, 7 touchdown passes Foles’ high-water mark in his out-of-nowhere breakout ’13 campaign came in a 49-20 drubbing of Oakland in Week 9.

Against the Raiders secondary, Foles tied an NFL record with 7 TD passes, a feat that has been achieved just eight times in NFL history. He would also complete 22-of-28 passes for 407 yards, contributing to what stands as the highest Week 9 fantasy effort by a QB since the AFL/NFL merger. Foles would finish the ’13 campaign with 27 TD passes and just two interceptions. In his 26 games played in ’12, ’14 and ’15, Foles totaled 26 TD passes and 25 interceptions.
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