Which lasted longer: Anthony Scaramucci's role in the White House or any chances that Fuck ol' Purvy could actually win this league? This team could be Mooching for wins all year, as they're projected to finish in fifth place with a record of 10-7-0 (2,855 points). They aimed for having a balanced roster throughout, taking QB Matthew Stafford (27th overall), RBs Devonta Freeman (8th) and Ezekiel Elliott (22nd), and WRs Julio Jones (11th) and Alshon Jeffery (38th). They ultimately built the worst QB tandem in the league, as they added Stafford and Philip Rivers.
Week 5 might require some artful managing from Fuck ol' Purvy. They have six players and the most projected fantasy points on bye that week. Taking a look at the season from start to finish, they have a harder-than-average schedule. Along with having the fourth-most grueling overall schedule, Fuck ol' Purvy has the league's easiest first four games and most difficult last four games of the season.
Separating the Wheat from the Chaff
At three different positions, Fuck ol' Purvy picked up projected top-two players (Kansas City, Julio Jones, and Matt Bryant).
Close to the Vest
Fuck ol' Purvy was focused on a squad with minimal risk, grabbing seven "low-risk" players out of 17 picks.
AARP Card Arriving Soon
With an average of 8.1 years of NFL experience, Fuck ol' Purvy is the team most likely to have a player qualify for a senior citizen discount.
Put All Your Eggs in One Basket
And then watch that basket. Ignoring roster depth, Fuck ol' Purvy chose only one player at three different positions (TE, DEF, and K).
Red Zone Regression
After eight straight seasons of recording five or more touchdowns, Olsen reeled in just three last year. Fuck ol' Purvy expects a return to the norm in 2017.
Joe Flacco is owned in only 3% of all Yahoo! leagues, but will surely reward Fuck ol' Purvy for their faith! Or not.
Turn Up The Volume
- D. Freeman, RB
- Round 1, Pick 8
With 272 touches, Devonta Freeman is projected to rank 10th in the NFL in that category. Fuck ol' Purvy demands more!
Stepping on a Banana Peel
- Julio Jones, WR
- Round 2, Pick 11
Julio Jones slipping to Fuck ol' Purvy could be the cause of many sleepless nights for the other managers.
Like the End of the Night
- E. Elliott, RB
- Round 3, Pick 22
Ezekiel Elliott is sure to find daylight. The bright-shining RB is projected to rack up 9.2 rushing TDs this year, third overall in the NFL.
Grab Your Umbrella
- M. Stafford, QB
- Round 4, Pick 27
Matthew Stafford will be making it rain on DBs this year, and is forecasted to finish seventh in the NFL with 4,228 passing yards.
Fuck ol' Purvy Selects Signal-Caller Rivers at Pick No. 43
- Philip Rivers, QB
- Round 6, Pick 43
The Chargers' man under center is projected to score 273 points this year, nearly identical to his total last year.
With three below-average positions on Fuck ol' Purvy, RB and TE are expected to be the worst of those potential areas of need.
- Danny Woodhead
- Rank 74, ADP 98
- Jonathan Stewart
- Rank 95, ADP 117
- Jordan Reed
- Rank 58, ADP 52
- Kyle Rudolph
- Rank 81, ADP 74
Bye Week Points LostPoints
Each bar represents the total projected season points for each player that's on bye that week. This chart shows any potential bye week issues.
Pick Number Minus ADPPick Number
Bars above zero indicate a pick was selected later than a player's ADP. Bars below zero show players that were taken earlier than their ADP.
Avg Points by Position vs LeagueTeam League
The average projected points for all the players at each position versus the average projected points for all players at that position in the league.
Schedule by Opponent PointsWeek
Week-by-week schedule with each opponent's projected season points. This chart shows any difficult or easy stretches in the schedule.
How We Grade
Draft grades are based strictly on teams' draft performances. This is calculated by counting the number of fantasy points teams are projected to score over the course of the season using their optimal line-ups. The grades do not take schedule into account. Because of bye weeks and other variables it is possible to earn a high grade yet be projected to finish in the middle of the pack. The opposite is also true. Bottom line: Fantasy Football is like the real game. You can draft the greatest talent in the world but you still need to manage your team every week to get the most out of that talent. As a wise man once said, "On any given Sunday..."