Wilfork on 1st Date Gets Win Against FUCK OFF, Streak Climbs to Four

Week 4

  • Wilfork on 1st Date
  • 82.88 pts, 4-0
  • Weekly Grade
  • FUCK OFF
  • 73.74 pts, 1-3
  • Weekly Grade

Wilfork on 1st Date picked up 25.90 points from Ezekiel Elliott and 15.08 from Carson Wentz, taking down FUCK OFF 82.88 to 73.74. Wilfork on 1st Date has built up a lot of momentum and remains undefeated. Marcus Mariota led FUCK OFF with 17.74 points while Tyrell Williams brought in 17.50. Wilfork on 1st Date (4-0, 360.52 points) climbs into second place and FUCK OFF (1-3, 302.28 points) stays in 10th place.

Top Players

    • Ezekiel Elliott
    • 25.90
    • Marcus Mariota
    • 17.74
    • Tyrell Williams
    • 17.50
    • DeAndre Hopkins
    • 16.70

Smooth Moves by Wilfork on 1st Date

  • Winning is like a dream come true. A very modest dream, but a dream nonetheless. A much better dream would be getting into the Toyota Hall of Fame.
  • Not quite the best, but pretty darn good. Ezekiel Elliott had the third-highest RB score of the week and the seventh-highest RB score in the league this season with 25.90 points.
  • Wilfork on 1st Date was still able to pull out a win with only 1 of their 9 starters exceeding their projected points.
  • What do Apache helicopters, F-117 Nighthawks and A.J. Green have in common? They are all dangerous aerial weapons. He ranked ninth in the league in scoring among WRs this week with 12.30 points.
  • Wilfork on 1st Date won even though both of their WRs scored below their projected points.

Toyota Roster Tune-up

  • Loss is a four-letter word to Toyota Hall of Famers. And win is a three-letter word. Hall of Famers are great at Fantasy Football AND counting.
  • This is one of those mistakes that you continuously think about for ten years. Did not start Eli Manning, who scored 27.72 points to rank fifth in the league in scoring.
  • The Dallas Cowboys Defense was last in the league in scoring and had a season-low -3.00 points.
  • Lost the matchup despite getting Wilfork on 1st Date on their lowest-scoring week of the season.
  • A heated blanket would be a great gift for Amari Cooper during this cold streak. He scored below his projection in three straight games after scoring 0.90 points against a projected 9.34 this week.

What If

  • Wilfork on 1st Date would be 3-1 if they played FUCK OFF every week.
  • Besides FUCK OFF, Wilfork on 1st Date would have defeated five other teams this week.
  • Had they played each other last week, Wilfork on 1st Date would have defeated FUCK OFF 97.64 - 60.30.
  • Wilfork on 1st Date would be 2-1 if they played the same schedule as FUCK OFF.
  • If Wilfork on 1st Date had played every team in the league each week, they would be 29-15.
  • FUCK OFF would have lost to six other teams besides Wilfork on 1st Date this week.
  • If they played the same schedule as Wilfork on 1st Date, FUCK OFF would be 3-0.
  • If they played every team every week, FUCK OFF would be 16-28.

Game Notes

  • FUCK OFF has now scored below their projected points for the last three weeks.
  • Despite being on the winning team, the New York Giants Defense had a season-low 1.00 point against a projected 6.23 and has now underachieved in every game this season.
  • Wilfork on 1st Date has underachieved every week this season, scoring 82.88 points against a projected 99.85 this week.
  • Although FUCK OFF lost, they did put up the ninth-highest score for a losing team in the league this season.
  • Wilfork on 1st Date was able to cover the 7.83-point spread in the win.
  • The WRs on FUCK OFF collectively had their best week of the season with 35.10 points.
  • Although Wilfork on 1st Date won, it was no thanks to Kyle Rudolph, who scored 3.40 points and has now scored below his projection in three straight weeks.
  • The loss was the third in a row for FUCK OFF.
Wilfork on 1st Date
FUCK OFF
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