Hawthorne Overwhelms FUCK OFF, Makes Early-Season Statement

Week 2

  • Hawthorne
  • 121.4 pts, 2-0
  • Weekly Grade
  • 68.9 pts, 1-1
  • Weekly Grade

Hawthorne left it all on the field in this one and logged the highest score of the season, shredding FUCK OFF 121.40 to 68.90. This was a truly solid beating, with the 52.50-point margin of victory being the third-highest recorded in the league this season. Free fallin' like Tom Petty, FUCK OFF suffered a significant drop in scoring from last week's 99.34 to 67.14 win against Girl Power. Hawthorne (2-0, 204.78 points) moves into first place and FUCK OFF (1-1, 168.24 points) winds up in sixth place.

Top Players

    • Michael Crabtree
    • 26.00
    • Derek Carr
    • 21.20
    • Javorius Allen
    • 16.10
    • Jason Witten
    • 15.70

Smooth Moves by Hawthorne

  • Winning feels great all week long. Becoming a member of the Toyota Hall of Fame feels great the rest of your life.
  • Looks like somebody has an eye for talent. Acquired Javorius Allen, who exceeded his scoring projection by 98.3%, the 10th-highest percentage in the league.
  • Michael Crabtree felt like the Rodney Dangerfield of football, 'no respect at all' with this week's projected points. He scored the third-most points in the league and beat his projected point total by 161.6%, the fifth-highest percentage in the league.
  • With 21.20 points, Derek Carr had the 10th-highest score in the league this week.
  • The 12.20 points scored by Delanie Walker was the fourth-highest point total among TEs in the league this week.

Toyota Roster Tune-up

  • In Fantasy Football, you win some, you lose some. Not for Toyota Hall of Famers. They mostly just win. But still.
  • FUCK OFF had 8 of their 9 starters score less than their projected points.
  • It was a poor performance for FUCK OFF at WR, where they were outdone by Hawthorne 40.30 - 16.00.
  • The best offense is a good defense. FUCK OFF got beat 10.00 - 2.00 by Hawthorne at the DEF position.
  • The 4.30 points scored by LeSean McCoy was just 29.1% of his 14.77-point projection.

What If

  • If Hawthorne played FUCK OFF every week, they would be 1-1 this season.
  • Hawthorne would have been undefeated if they played every team in the league this week.
  • If Hawthorne had played every team in the league each week, they would be 18-4.
  • FUCK OFF would have lost to eight other teams besides Hawthorne this week.
  • Timing really is everything. Hawthorne would have lost to FUCK OFF 99.34 - 83.38 had they played each other last week.
  • FUCK OFF would be 11-11 if they played every team every week.

Game Notes

  • Hawthorne had three starters who scored more points than the highest-scoring starter for FUCK OFF.
  • With 40.30 points, Hawthorne got the highest combined scoring output from the WR position for any team this week.
  • FUCK OFF ranked 10th in the league in scoring this week.
  • The margin of victory was the second-widest in the league this week.
  • In the loss, Jason Witten had the third-highest TE score in the league this week with 15.70 points.
  • No it's okay, you don't have to get up and help us out. Despite being on the winning team, Brandin Cooks scored only 4.30 points against his projected 12.82.
  • Hawthorne beat their projected points, while FUCK OFF fell below their projection.
  • Points by NFL Position
  • Top Players by Points
  • Game Flow
  • Projected vs Actual Point

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