Hawthorne Pulls Off Comeback over BitchMyNameIsSamXi, Drops Them into 11th Place

Week 10

  • Hawthorne
  • 89.88 pts, 5-5
  • Weekly Grade
  • BitchMyNameIsSamXi
  • 89.66 pts, 3-7
  • Weekly Grade

Hawthorne, down 8.38 on Monday night, gave BitchMyNameIsSamXi a glimmer of hope, then ripped it away and took one from BitchMyNameIsSamXi 89.88 to 89.66. Hawthorne got 16.58 points from Jacoby Brissett and 15.20 from Kenyan Drake. This one just as easily could have been decided by a coin flip. The 0.22-point margin of victory was the second-smallest in the league this season. For BitchMyNameIsSamXi, Matthew Stafford and Golden Tate played the roles of Maverick and Goose, scoring 22.66 and 15.70 points, respectively. Hawthorne (5-5, 831.48 points) falls to seventh place and BitchMyNameIsSamXi (3-7, 828.60 points) sinks into 11th place.

Top Players

    • Matthew Stafford
    • 22.66
    • Jacoby Brissett
    • 16.58
    • Golden Tate
    • 15.70
    • Kenyan Drake
    • 15.20

Smooth Moves by Hawthorne

  • Hawthorne is a winning name, which might be why you just won. Next step is figuring out if Hawthorne is a Toyota Hall of Fame name.
  • Added Jacoby Brissett, who scored 16.58 points to lead the team.
  • There are rumors that the military wants to model a new all-terrain vehicle based off of Kenyan Drake. He had the seventh-highest score among RBs in the league this week with 15.20 points.
  • What do Apache helicopters, F-117 Nighthawks and Robby Anderson have in common? They are all dangerous aerial weapons. He ranked eighth in the league in scoring among WRs this week with 14.50 points.
  • Look, there in the sky. Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's just Stefon Diggs posterizing opponents. He had the 10th-highest score of any WR in the league this week with 13.80 points.

Toyota Roster Tune-up

  • It's OK, BitchMyNameIsSamXi. Losing happens. Not necessarily to Toyota Hall of Famers, but to other folks, sure.
  • Left Rex Burkhead on the bench, where he scored 12.30 points to beat his scoring projection by 160.6%, the seventh-highest percentage in the league.
  • Picked up and started the Chicago Bears Defense, which scored a team-worst 37.1% of their projected point total for 3.00 points, which was also last on the team.
  • A heated blanket would be a great gift for Rob Gronkowski during this cold streak. He scored below his projection in three straight games after scoring 7.40 points against a projected 11.25 this week.
  • Only 4 of the 9 starters on BitchMyNameIsSamXi underachieved this week, but they still lost.

What If

  • If Hawthorne played BitchMyNameIsSamXi every week, they would be 6-4 this season.
  • Besides BitchMyNameIsSamXi, Hawthorne would have defeated seven other teams this week.
  • Hawthorne would be 2-7 if they played the same schedule as BitchMyNameIsSamXi.
  • If Hawthorne had played every team in the league each week, they would be 57-53.
  • BitchMyNameIsSamXi would have lost to just three other teams besides Hawthorne this week.
  • Timing really is everything. Hawthorne would have lost to BitchMyNameIsSamXi 87.54 - 80.90 had they played each other last week.
  • BitchMyNameIsSamXi would be 4-5 if they played the same schedule as Hawthorne.
  • If they played every team every week, BitchMyNameIsSamXi would be 56-54.

Game Notes

  • Luck has not been with BitchMyNameIsSamXi, as six of their seven losses have come when their opponent scores higher than their season average.
  • The manager of BitchMyNameIsSamXi was probably the person who destroyed the curve on every test in school. They scored 89.66 points against a projected 81.63 and beat their scoring projection for the fifth time this season, including the last three weeks in a row.
  • Hey, I'm sure Hawthorne appreciates the tough competition. In the loss, BitchMyNameIsSamXi had the fourth-highest losing score in the league this season with 89.66 points.
  • Despite playing on the losing team, Matthew Stafford ranked seventh in the league in scoring with 22.66 points against a projected 17.36 and has now beaten his projection in three straight games.
  • The 0.22-point margin of victory was the slimmest in the league this week.
  • BitchMyNameIsSamXi got a combined 27.60 points from their WRs, their highest combined scoring output from the WR position this season.
  • With the win, Hawthorne improves to 2-1 in close games this season.
  • BitchMyNameIsSamXi could not close out the win even with the help of Golden Tate, who scored 15.70 points, the fifth-highest score among all WRs in the league for the week.
Hawthorne
BitchMyNameIsSamXi
  • Points by NFL Position
  • Top Players by Points
  • Game Flow

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