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QB

Player	Team
Philip Rivers	Szechuan Sauce
Alex Smith	Ethiopian Drake
Kirk Cousins	Rob Bironas
Russell Wilson	The Eli Face
Matt Ryan	Generic Team Eric
Josh McCown	suck for sam
Drew Brees	Hyde ya kids and wif
Dak Prescott	Jason Coonrod's Mom
Jared Goff	The Harbaugh Face
Tom Brady	Bring back BHM
Cam Newton	The Matt Cassel Exp.
Case Keenum	Team Quack Eats Ass
Matthew Stafford	Kerley Fries
Marcus Mariota	The Beta Uprising

WR

Player	Team
DeAndre Hopkins	Szechuan Sauce
Larry Fitzgerald	Ethiopian Drake
Marvin Jones Jr.	Rob Bironas
Jarvis Landry	The Eli Face
Julio Jones	Generic Team Eric
Doug Baldwin	suck for sam
Demaryius Thomas	Hyde ya kids and wif
Emmanuel Sanders	Jason Coonrod's Mom
T.Y. Hilton	The Harbaugh Face
Alshon Jeffery	Bring back BHM
Golden Tate	The Matt Cassel Exp.
Dez Bryant	Team Quack Eats Ass
Michael Thomas	Kerley Fries
Sammy Watkins	The Beta Uprising

WR

Player	Team
Brandin Cooks	Szechuan Sauce
Paul Richardson	Ethiopian Drake
Devin Funchess	Rob Bironas
Ted Ginn Jr.	The Eli Face
Adam Humphries	Generic Team Eric
Stefon Diggs	suck for sam
DeVante Parker	Hyde ya kids and wif
Josh Doctson	Jason Coonrod's Mom
Michael Crabtree	The Harbaugh Face
Dede Westbrook	Bring back BHM
Mohamed Sanu	The Matt Cassel Exp.
A.J. Green	Team Quack Eats Ass
Adam Thielen	Kerley Fries
Mike Evans	The Beta Uprising

WR

Player	Team
Tyreek Hill	Szechuan Sauce
Chris Godwin	Ethiopian Drake
Marqise Lee	Rob Bironas
Zay Jones	The Eli Face
Marquise Goodwin	Generic Team Eric
Robbie Chosen	suck for sam
Martavis Bryant	Hyde ya kids and wif
Randall Cobb	Jason Coonrod's Mom
Amari Cooper	The Harbaugh Face
Rishard Matthews	Bring back BHM
Tyrell Williams	The Matt Cassel Exp.
Danny Amendola	Team Quack Eats Ass
Robert Woods	Kerley Fries
Jermaine Kearse	The Beta Uprising

RB

Player	Team
Lamar Miller	Szechuan Sauce
Kenyan Drake	Ethiopian Drake
Melvin Gordon III	Rob Bironas
Tevin Coleman	The Eli Face
C.J. Anderson	Generic Team Eric
Todd Gurley	suck for sam
Isaiah Crowell	Hyde ya kids and wif
Adrian Peterson	Jason Coonrod's Mom
Ameer Abdullah	The Harbaugh Face
Kareem Hunt	Bring back BHM
LeSean McCoy	The Matt Cassel Exp.
Orleans Darkwa	Team Quack Eats Ass
Alvin Kamara	Kerley Fries
Christian McCaffrey	The Beta Uprising

RB

Player	Team
Frank Gore	Szechuan Sauce
Jerick McKinnon	Ethiopian Drake
Bilal Powell	Rob Bironas
DeMarco Murray	The Eli Face
Jonathan Stewart	Generic Team Eric
Duke Johnson	suck for sam
Carlos Hyde	Hyde ya kids and wif
Alfred Morris	Jason Coonrod's Mom
Dion Lewis	The Harbaugh Face
Wayne Gallman	Bring back BHM
Mark Ingram II	The Matt Cassel Exp.
Le'Veon Bell	Team Quack Eats Ass
Devonta Freeman	Kerley Fries
Joe Mixon	The Beta Uprising

TE

Player	Team
Evan Engram	Szechuan Sauce
Rob Gronkowski	Ethiopian Drake
Delanie Walker	Rob Bironas
Jimmy Graham	The Eli Face
Zach Ertz	Generic Team Eric
Stephen Anderson	suck for sam
C.J. Fiedorowicz	Hyde ya kids and wif
Travis Kelce	Jason Coonrod's Mom
Austin Hooper	The Harbaugh Face
Antonio Gates	Bring back BHM
Vernon Davis	The Matt Cassel Exp.
Jason Witten	Team Quack Eats Ass
Eric Ebron	Kerley Fries
Jared Cook	The Beta Uprising

W/R/T

Player	Team
Kyle Rudolph	Szechuan Sauce
Kapri Bibbs	Ethiopian Drake
Kenny Stills	Rob Bironas
James White	The Eli Face
Marshawn Lynch	Generic Team Eric
Jamison Crowder	suck for sam
Cole Beasley	Hyde ya kids and wif
Alex Collins	Jason Coonrod's Mom
LeGarrette Blount	The Harbaugh Face
Keenan Allen	Bring back BHM
Ezekiel Elliott	The Matt Cassel Exp.
Mike Wallace	Team Quack Eats Ass
Jordan Howard	Kerley Fries
Latavius Murray	The Beta Uprising

K

Player	Team
Stephen Gostkowski	Szechuan Sauce
Graham Gano	Ethiopian Drake
Matt Prater	Rob Bironas
Josh Lambo	The Eli Face
Chris Boswell	Generic Team Eric
Matt Bryant	suck for sam
Nick Rose	Hyde ya kids and wif
Kai Forbath	Jason Coonrod's Mom
Ryan Succop	The Harbaugh Face
Robbie Gould	Bring back BHM
Wil Lutz	The Matt Cassel Exp.
Brandon McManus	Team Quack Eats Ass
Harrison Butker	Kerley Fries
Justin Tucker	The Beta Uprising

DEF

Player	Team
Washington - DEF	Szechuan Sauce
Chicago - DEF	Ethiopian Drake
New York - DEF	Rob Bironas
Detroit - DEF	The Eli Face
Houston - DEF	Generic Team Eric
Seattle - DEF	suck for sam
Pittsburgh - DEF	Hyde ya kids and wif
Los Angeles - DEF	Jason Coonrod's Mom
Los Angeles - DEF	The Harbaugh Face
Jacksonville - DEF	Bring back BHM
Minnesota - DEF	The Matt Cassel Exp.
New England - DEF	Team Quack Eats Ass
Kansas City - DEF	Kerley Fries
Baltimore - DEF	The Beta Uprising