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QB

Player	Team
Cam Newton	The Final Cuntdown
Tom Brady	Hail Mary Magdalene
Andrew Luck	Ovary Time
Tony Romo	FavreDollar Footlong
Aaron Rodgers	Crimson Tide
Alex Smith	Balls Deep
Drew Brees	PASS & TDs
Ben Roethlisberger	The Encrotchments
Peyton Manning	Toxic Shock Syndrome
Russell Wilson	Tata-Touchdowns

WR

Player	Team
Jeremy Maclin	The Final Cuntdown
Vincent Jackson	Hail Mary Magdalene
Randall Cobb	Ovary Time
Jordy Nelson	FavreDollar Footlong
Emmanuel Sanders	Crimson Tide
Larry Fitzgerald	Balls Deep
T.Y. Hilton	PASS & TDs
Demaryius Thomas	The Encrotchments
Dez Bryant	Toxic Shock Syndrome
A.J. Green	Tata-Touchdowns

WR

Player	Team
Odell Beckham Jr.	The Final Cuntdown
Torrey Smith	Hail Mary Magdalene
Calvin Johnson	Ovary Time
Julian Edelman	FavreDollar Footlong
Hakeem Nicks	Crimson Tide
Cordarrelle Patterson	Balls Deep
Mike Evans	PASS & TDs
Golden Tate	The Encrotchments
Jarvis Landry	Toxic Shock Syndrome
Antonio Brown	Tata-Touchdowns

RB

Player	Team
Marshawn Lynch	The Final Cuntdown
Joique Bell	Hail Mary Magdalene
C.J. Anderson	Ovary Time
Shane Vereen	FavreDollar Footlong
Andre Williams	Crimson Tide
Jamaal Charles	Balls Deep
Arian Foster	PASS & TDs
LeSean McCoy	The Encrotchments
DeMarco Murray	Toxic Shock Syndrome
Matt Forte	Tata-Touchdowns

RB

Player	Team
Justin Forsett	The Final Cuntdown
Eddie Lacy	Hail Mary Magdalene
Le'Veon Bell	Ovary Time
Jeremy Hill	FavreDollar Footlong
C.J. Spiller	Crimson Tide
Bishop Sankey	Balls Deep
Tre Mason	PASS & TDs
Mark Ingram II	The Encrotchments
Lamar Miller	Toxic Shock Syndrome
Alfred Morris	Tata-Touchdowns

TE

Player	Team
Travis Kelce	The Final Cuntdown
Jason Witten	Hail Mary Magdalene
Rob Gronkowski	Ovary Time
Jimmy Graham	FavreDollar Footlong
Ladarius Green	Crimson Tide
Greg Olsen	Balls Deep
Antonio Gates	PASS & TDs
Julius Thomas	The Encrotchments
Delanie Walker	Toxic Shock Syndrome
Martellus Bennett	Tata-Touchdowns

W/R/T

Player	Team
Alshon Jeffery	The Final Cuntdown
Julio Jones	Hail Mary Magdalene
Kelvin Benjamin	Ovary Time
Trenton Richardson	FavreDollar Footlong
Andre Johnson	Crimson Tide
Terrance West	Balls Deep
Roddy White	PASS & TDs
Terrance Williams	The Encrotchments
Ryan Mathews	Toxic Shock Syndrome
DeSean Jackson	Tata-Touchdowns

K

Player	Team
Stephen Hauschka	The Final Cuntdown
Mason Crosby	Hail Mary Magdalene
Blair Walsh	Ovary Time
Stephen Gostkowski	FavreDollar Footlong
Justin Tucker	Crimson Tide
Nick Novak	Balls Deep
Adam Vinatieri	PASS & TDs
Phil Dawson	The Encrotchments
Dan Bailey	Toxic Shock Syndrome
Robbie Gould	Tata-Touchdowns

DEF

Player	Team
Philadelphia - DEF	The Final Cuntdown
Green Bay - DEF	Hail Mary Magdalene
Houston - DEF	Ovary Time
Los Angeles - DEF	FavreDollar Footlong
Denver - DEF	Crimson Tide
Buffalo - DEF	Balls Deep
Arizona - DEF	PASS & TDs
Pittsburgh - DEF	The Encrotchments
Cincinnati - DEF	Toxic Shock Syndrome
New Orleans - DEF	Tata-Touchdowns