Tarkenton Gets Victory Against Turd Nuggets to Grab Ninth Place

Week 5

  • Tarkenton
  • 2-3
  • Weekly Grade: C
  • 119.93
  • Turd Nuggets
  • 2-3
  • Weekly Grade: D
  • 96.76

U - G - L - Y. Turd Nuggets has no alibi, as they sputtered out of the gate and fell to Tarkenton 119.93 to 96.76. Each team failed to meet expectations, but Tarkenton managed to score 83.1% of a projected 144.34 points for the win. Kirk Cousins led Turd Nuggets with 30.86 points while Julio Jones brought in 17.70. Tarkenton (2-3, 585.82 points) inches up to ninth place while Turd Nuggets (2-3, 628.54 points) sinks into eighth place.

Top Players

    • Drew Brees
    • 42.30
    • Kirk Cousins
    • 30.86
    • Odell Beckham Jr.
    • 25.40
    • Julio Jones
    • 17.70

Smooth Moves by Tarkenton

  • Finders keepers, losers weepers. Picked up Benjamin Watson, who beat his scoring projection by 122.2%, which was the highest percentage among the two teams.
  • The 42.30 points scored by Drew Brees ranked eighth in the league in scoring this week and fifth for any player on Tarkenton this season.
  • Took Carson Palmer out of the starting lineup, who scored 29.34 points on the bench, fewer than the starting QB.
  • What do Apache helicopters, F-117 Nighthawks and Odell Beckham Jr. have in common? They are all dangerous aerial weapons. He ranked third in the league in scoring among WRs this week with 25.40 points.
  • Tarkenton won despite having only 4 of their 9 starters exceed their scoring projection.

Toyota Roster Tune-up

  • This is one of those mistakes that you continuously think about for ten years. Did not start Andy Dalton, who scored 58.04 points to rank second in the league in scoring.
  • Now that Turd Nuggets got that embarrassing loss out of the way, let's work on our Toyota Hall of Fame potential.
  • Picked up Willie Snead but left him on the bench, where he scored 20.10 points against a projected 11.61.
  • Whoever gave you this advice, you might want to lose their number. Picked up and started Kirk Cousins, who then scored below his 39.53-point projection with 30.86 points.
  • Picked up the New York Giants Defense, which was last on the team in scoring with 2.00 points, only 24.5% of their projected point total, which was also the lowest percentage on the team.

What If

  • If Tarkenton played Turd Nuggets every week, they'd be 3-2 this year.
  • Besides Turd Nuggets, Tarkenton would have defeated three other teams this week.
  • Had they played each other last week, Tarkenton would have defeated Turd Nuggets 117.78 - 93.04.
  • If they played the same schedule as Turd Nuggets, Tarkenton would be 1-3.
  • Tarkenton would be 10-35 if they played every team every week.
  • Besides Tarkenton, Turd Nuggets would have been defeated by seven other teams this week.
  • Turd Nuggets would be 1-3 if they played the same schedule as Tarkenton.
  • Turd Nuggets would be 15-30 if they played every team every week.

Game Notes

  • Tarkenton has underachieved every week this season, scoring 119.93 points against a projected 144.34 this week.
  • Ameer Abdullah had a season-low 4.33 points against a projected 18.71 in the win and has now scored below his projection in four straight games.
  • Despite being on the winning team, C.J. Anderson scored 6.00 points against a projected 11.03 and has now underachieved in every game this season.
  • The margin of victory of 23.17 points was the biggest of the season for Tarkenton.
  • Tarkenton got 10.33 points from their RBs this week, the lowest combined scoring output from the RB position for any team this week.
  • Turd Nuggets ranked ninth in the league in scoring this week.
  • Tarkenton won despite failing to reach their projected point total, improving to 2-3 when doing so. Turd Nuggets also failed to reach their point expectation and falls to 1-3 in such games.
  • In the loss, Julio Jones had the ninth-highest WR score in the league this week with 17.70 points.
Turd Nuggets
  • Points by NFL Position
  • Top Players by Points
  • Game Flow

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Fantasy MasterpiecesWeek 5

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