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  • The Vaginatarian's League (ID# 800075)

    2 Ball Throat Lotion Draft Report Card


    Slated for an 11th-Place Finish, 2 Ball Throat Lotion Is Going to Have a Long Season

    Draft Summary

    Picking 12th, 2 Ball Throat Lotion built a team that probably isn't even worth talking about. It wouldn't be fair to give the good teams a recap and not the bad ones, though, so here goes. They are expected to finish 11th in The Vaginatarian's League with a record of 4-9-0 (1,362 points). They went with a balanced approach early, selecting QB Aaron Rodgers (13th overall), RB Frank Gore (37th), WR A.J. Green (12th), and TE Rob Gronkowski (36th) within the first five rounds. They built the lowest-scoring group of RBs in the league, as they have Gore, Chris Johnson, Danny Woodhead, and James White on their roster.

    Stupid autodraft! Right? Since you can’t be blamed for that draft, go ahead and nominate yourself for the Toyota Hall Of Fame.


    Week 10 might require some waiver-wire magic from 2 Ball Throat Lotion. They have five players and the most projected fantasy points on bye that week. Taking a look at the entire season from start to finish, they have the hardest slate. In addition to having the most demanding overall schedule, 2 Ball Throat Lotion also has the most difficult last four games of the season.

    Draft Notes

    • TE or Bust

      Unfortunately, TE is the only strong position on 2 Ball Throat Lotion. Fortunately, there's always next year.

    • Great Idea, Poor Execution

      2 Ball Throat Lotion will need to get busy on the waiver wire in Week 10, as their only TE (Rob Gronkowski) and only K (Adam Vinatieri) will both be off that week.

    • Get Off My Lawn

      With an average of 8.7 years of NFL experience, 2 Ball Throat Lotion is the oldest and by default, least exciting team in the league.

    • No Back-Up No Cry

      Ignoring roster depth, 2 Ball Throat Lotion chose only one player at three different positions (TE, DEF, and K).

    • A Low Floor, but a High Ceiling?

      2 Ball Throat Lotion nabbed a sleeper in James White with pick No. 156.

    • Mr. Mendoza

      James White is owned in only 1% of all Yahoo! leagues. Let's hope that a.) 2 Ball Throat Lotion has some solid inside information, or b.) he's a close friend of the family.

    Player Analysis

      • A.J. Green, WR
      • Round 1, Pick 12
      224 More Reasons to Appreciate A.J. Green

      Green ranks sixth in the The Vaginatarian's League among WRs with 224 projected fantasy points.

      • Aaron Rodgers, QB
      • Round 2, Pick 13
      A Super Duper Signal-Caller

      Aaron Rodgers is projected to rack up 379 points this year, enough to rank third among all QBs.

      • Rob Gronkowski, TE
      • Round 3, Pick 36
      Haters Gonna Hate

      The rest of The Vaginatarian's League overlooked a gem, and 2 Ball Throat Lotion made the swaggiest pick of the round by grabbing Rob Gronkowski.

      • Frank Gore, RB
      • Round 4, Pick 37
      If it Ain't Broke

      Then do fix it? Laughing in the face of decades of fantasy tradition, 2 Ball Throat Lotion didn't grab their first RB (Frank Gore) until the fourth round.

      • Chris Johnson, RB
      • Round 6, Pick 61
      Was Chris Johnson the Best Choice at Pick No. 61?

      2 Ball Throat Lotion apparently thinks so. The Jets' RB is only projected to get 159 points this year, after putting up 219 last season.

    Best Available

    With five below-average positions on 2 Ball Throat Lotion, RB and DEF are expected to be the worst of those potential areas of need.

      • Khiry Robinson
      • Rank 149, ADP 123
      • Indianapolis Defanse
      • Rank 225, ADP 144
      • Baltimore Defanse
      • Rank 236, ADP 143
    • Bye Week Points Lost

      Each bar represents the total projected season points for each player that's on bye that week. This chart shows any potential bye week issues.

    • Pick Number Minus ADP
      Pick Number

      Bars above zero indicate a pick was selected later than a player's ADP. Bars below zero show players that were taken earlier than their ADP.

    • Avg Points by Position vs League
          Team     League

      The average projected points for all the players at each position versus the average projected points for all players at that position in the league.

    • Schedule by Opponent Points

      Week-by-week schedule with each opponent's projected season points. This chart shows any difficult or easy stretches in the schedule.

    How We Grade

    Draft grades are based strictly on teams' draft performances. This is calculated by counting the number of fantasy points teams are projected to score over the course of the season using their optimal line-ups. The grades do not take schedule into account. Because of bye weeks and other variables it is possible to earn a high grade yet be projected to finish in the middle of the pack. The opposite is also true. Bottom line: Fantasy Football is like the real game. You can draft the greatest talent in the world but you still need to manage your team every week to get the most out of that talent. As a wise man once said, "On any given Sunday..."

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    2 Ball Throat Lotion
    1. (12) A.J. Green (Cin - WR)
    2. (13) Aaron Rodgers (GB - QB)
    3. (36) Rob Gronkowski (NE - TE)
    4. (37) Frank Gore (SF - RB)
    5. (60) Jeremy Maclin (Phi - WR)
    6. (61) Chris Johnson (NYJ - RB)
    7. (84) Marques Colston (NO - WR)
    8. (85) San Francisco (SF - DEF)
    9. (108) Anquan Boldin (SF - WR)
    10. (109) Adam Vinatieri (Ind - K)
    11. (132) Hakeem Nicks (Ind - WR)
    12. (133) Danny Woodhead (SD - RB)
    13. (156) James White (NE - RB)
    14. (157) Steve Smith Sr. (Bal - WR)
    15. (180) Carson Palmer (Ari - QB)
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    Best Draft

    Best Draft is awarded to the team with the most projected season points based on weekly optimal starting lineups.

    Draft Grades

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