Captain Hammer Spanks Smif&Mackpa$$rushOP for Fifth Straight Win

Week 13

  • Captain Hammer
  • 9-4
  • Weekly Grade: A+
  • 137
  • Smif&Mackpa$$rushOP
  • 6-7
  • Weekly Grade: C-
  • 79

Are your feet cold, Smif&Mackpa$$rushOP? After getting the win the last time they met, Captain Hammer took it a step further and beat the socks off Smif&Mackpa$$rushOP this time around, winning 137 to 79. This week, Cam Newton was the team leader, putting up 41 points. That's even higher than Larry Fitzgerald, who led all players with 29 points the last time these teams met. On top of the loss, as Smif&Mackpa$$rushOP had two starters score zero points (Jarvis Landry and Eddie Lacy). Captain Hammer now has a 37-point average margin of victory over Smif&Mackpa$$rushOP. They won 111 to 95 in Week 2. Finally, despite the loss, Smif&Mackpa$$rushOP clinches a spot in the playoffs this week.

Top Players

    • Cam Newton
    • 41
    • Ben Roethlisberger
    • 37
    • Antonio Brown
    • 30
    • T.J. Yeldon
    • 18

Smooth Moves by Captain Hammer

  • Captain Hammer got their highest point total by a player this season from Cam Newton, who had 41 points.
  • Antonio Brown played out of his mind, scoring the second-most points by a WR this week with 30 points. It also ranks as the fifth-greatest game by a WR this season.
  • T.J. Yeldon put the team on his back with 18 points, the second-highest score among RBs in the league this week.
  • There are rumors that the military wants to model a new all-terrain vehicle based off of Mark Ingram. He had the seventh-highest score among RBs in the league this week with 15 points.
  • With 10 points, Greg Olsen had the fifth-highest score of any TE in the league this week.

Toyota Roster Tune-up

  • Remember that time you thought, "I don't need help from your stinking articles. I can beat Captain Hammer on my own." How'd it work out for you?
  • Missed an opportunity by leaving Marcus Mariota on the bench. He scored 38 points, the third-highest score in the league this week.
  • Should have started Brandon Marshall, who beat his scoring projection with 19 points against a projected 11.11.
  • This is how people lose everything in casinos. Smif&Mackpa$$rushOP thought their luck would change and went back to the well with Todd Gurley. However, he scored 4 points against a projected 12.31 and has now underachieved in four straight games.
  • Smif&Mackpa$$rushOP had 2 of their 9 starters score zero points.

What If

  • If Captain Hammer played Smif&Mackpa$$rushOP every week, they'd be 9-4 this year.
  • Captain Hammer would've been undefeated if they played every team in the league this week.
  • If they played the same schedule as Smif&Mackpa$$rushOP, Captain Hammer would be 8-2-1.
  • Captain Hammer would be 109-31-3 if they played every team every week.
  • Besides Captain Hammer, Smif&Mackpa$$rushOP would have been defeated by seven other teams this week.
  • Timing really is everything. Captain Hammer would have lost to Smif&Mackpa$$rushOP 116 - 86 had they played each other last week.
  • If they played the same schedule as Captain Hammer, Smif&Mackpa$$rushOP would be 6-5.
  • Smif&Mackpa$$rushOP would be 78-64-1 if they played every team every week.

Game Notes

  • Four of the seven losses for Smif&Mackpa$$rushOP this season have come when their opponent had their highest-scoring week of the season.
  • The 137 points scored by Captain Hammer was the highest in the league this week and the third-highest in the league this season.
  • The margin of victory was the seventh-largest in the league this season.
  • Captain Hammer has won five straight games, the longest current winning streak in the league.
  • Smif&Mackpa$$rushOP had their three-game win streak snapped in the loss.
  • Speed, strength, agility, vision, and intelligence. It was all on display this week when the RBs on Captain Hammer collectively had their best week of the season with 47 points.
  • Just because Robert Horry has seven NBA championship rings, doesn't mean he's one of the greats. Despite being on the winning team, Blair Walsh scored 1 point against a projected 8.75 and has now underachieved in three straight games.
  • Larry Fitzgerald did little to help Captain Hammer, underperforming versus projections for the third straight game with 5 points against a projected 11.48.
Captain Hammer
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Fantasy MasterpiecesWeek 13

Barry Sanders Det - RB 1991 vs. Minnesota 251 total yards, 4 TDs Sanders was one of the most exciting players to watch in NFL history, and the best performance of his Hall of Fame career, the only one that ranks among the 80 best fantasy lines of the past 45 years (13th best overall), is a 4-TD, 251-total yard heyday against Minnesota in Week 13 of ’91.

The 251 yards was the second-best single-game yards from scrimmage total of a career that would end with him as the NFL’s second all-time leading rusher (until Emmitt Smith eventually surpassed both him and then leader Walter Payton).
Each week of the season we will bring you the top fantasy football performances of the past 10+ years for that week.
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