Cowboys Suck Lays Waste to Viking Pillagers, Emerges as an Early Favorite

Week 1

  • Cowboys Suck
  • 1-0
  • Weekly Grade: A+
  • 124.74
  • Viking Pillagers
  • 0-1
  • Weekly Grade: D
  • 78.72

Cowboys Suck took advantage of 22.60 points from Travis Kelce and 21.00 from the Carolina Panthers Defense, stomping Viking Pillagers 124.74 to 78.72. Viking Pillagers, who only scored 80.3% of their projected 97.99 points, made it easy on Cowboys Suck who won by scoring 26.7% more than their projected 98.45 points. Viking Pillagers was led by the tag team of Antonio Brown, with 19.30 points, and Jeremy Hill, who scored 18.30. Cowboys Suck (1-0) starts the campaign in third place while Viking Pillagers (0-1) begins in eighth place.

Top Players

    • Travis Kelce
    • 22.60
    • Carolina Panthers Defense
    • 21.00
    • Antonio Brown
    • 19.30
    • Ben Roethlisberger
    • 19.04

Smooth Moves by Cowboys Suck

  • With 21.00 points, the Carolina Panthers Defense was the highest-scoring DEF of the week.
  • With 22.60 points, Travis Kelce ranked ninth in the league in scoring and beat his scoring projection by 216.3%, which was the highest percentage in the matchup.
  • 7 of the 9 starters on Cowboys Suck exceeded their projected points.
  • What do Apache helicopters, F-117 Nighthawks and Keenan Allen have in common? They are all dangerous aerial weapons. He ranked fourth in the league in scoring among WRs this week with 16.60 points.
  • Jamaal Charles put the team on his back with 16.30 points, the fifth-highest score among RBs in the league this week.

Toyota Roster Tune-up

  • Dry your tears, study more articles and forget that your 124.74 to 78.72 loss ever happened.
  • Left Philip Rivers on the bench, where he led the team in scoring with 21.96 points.
  • Viking Pillagers could have used more points from the TE position, where Cowboys Suck beat them 22.60 - 5.30.
  • Who needs offense when the defense is so dominant!? Viking Pillagers got outscored 21.00 - 5.00 by Cowboys Suck at the DEF position.
  • Cowboys Suck had a better day at the QB position, topping Viking Pillagers 19.04 - 8.52.

What If

  • Besides Viking Pillagers, Cowboys Suck would have defeated six other teams this week.
  • Hypothetically speaking, if Cowboys Suck had scored 11.73 more points, they would have beaten every team in the league this week.
  • Viking Pillagers would have lost to six other teams besides Cowboys Suck this week.
  • If Viking Pillagers had scored 22.49 fewer points, they would have lost to all teams in the league this week.

Game Notes

  • Cowboys Suck had two starters score more points than the highest-scoring starter for Viking Pillagers.
  • The margin of victory was the second-largest in the league this week.
  • The 78.72 points put up by Viking Pillagers ranked eighth in the league this week.
  • In the loss, Antonio Brown had the third-highest WR score in the league this week with 19.30 points.
  • In the loss, Jeremy Hill had the fourth-highest RB score in the league this week with 18.30 points.
  • Although Cowboys Suck won, they got little help from Calvin Johnson, who only put up 3.90 points of a projected 11.49.
  • Viking Pillagers failed to reach their projected total, while Cowboys Suck exceeded their scoring projection.
Cowboys Suck
Viking Pillagers
  • Points by NFL Position
  • Top Players by Points
  • Game Flow
  • Projected vs Actual Point

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